he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
