The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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