i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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