Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
did i just pee glitter
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
