he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
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You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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