I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize