I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He passed out mid-signature
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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