I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
