i was born a porn star she said
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
