Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You're like the curious george of whores
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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