omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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