ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
