I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
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come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
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You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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