If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I didn't notice because vodka
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
