She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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