hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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