Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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