Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
