Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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