Princesses don't give blow jobs
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
