Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
