Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
