standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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