I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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