So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
