After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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