i would punch a child for taco bell
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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