Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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