I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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