and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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