They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
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i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
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Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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