I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
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All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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