Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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