3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
