I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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