is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
