I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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