Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
