He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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