At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
