we have pet lesbian snakes
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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