Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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