No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
