ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
