OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
