"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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