So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
