Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
