dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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