shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize