I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My ass is underappreciated
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
