im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
