you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
