While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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