we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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