i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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