We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
