my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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