there's paper in my vomit.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
