end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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