i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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