i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
