My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
