He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
