did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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