so explain again why im purple
no
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
