Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
